Scary excuses that anti-Vaxxers use to avoid the Covid-19 shot

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Despite FDA approval and several studies showing that it provides life-saving immunity, many people across the United States are refusing to get the Covid-19 vaccine. Here are the most frightening excuses that anti-waxers use to avoid being immunized.

2 / 22

“I dated Dr. Fauci in college and he was an asshole.”

“I dated Dr. Fauci in college and he was an asshole.”

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Of course, it would be nice to keep it to your ex by never getting vaccinated, but he will probably be pretty smug if you die too.

3 / 22

“My neighbor got the vaccine, and three days later I killed him.”

“My neighbor got the vaccine, and three days later I killed him.”

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Stop mixing causation with context!

4 / 22

“I grew up in a country that educated me poorly, where the right-wing party backs my worst impulses, and the left-wing uses esoteric vocabulary and a system of elitism to alienate me and treat me like their inferior, this is mine way to exercise just a little bit of control over my life. “

“I grew up in a country that educated me poorly, where the right-wing party backs my worst impulses, and the left-wing uses esoteric vocabulary and a system of elitism to alienate me and treat me like their inferior, this is mine way to exercise just a little bit of control over my life. “

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God, these people are a bunch of fucking idiots, huh?

5 / 22

“I have placed a bomb on a train station which detonates automatically if I am vaccinated.”

“I have placed a bomb on a train station which detonates automatically if I am vaccinated.”

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There is no way they could connect like that.

6 / 22

“I’m afraid the technician giving the shot will not like me.”

“I’m afraid the technician giving the shot will not like me.”

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While social anxiety is a real mental illness that millions of nationwide have to contend with, a competent therapist will encourage their patient to confront their fears and still get shot.

7 / 22

“I do not want to have anything in common with Bill Pullman.”

“I do not want to have anything in common with Bill Pullman.”

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Fair.

8 / 22

“I already died of Covid-19 last year.”

“I already died of Covid-19 last year.”

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Also fair.

9 / 22

“There’s still so much we do not know about the sea.”

“There’s still so much we do not know about the sea.”

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Everything could hide in the dark depths of the sea, but it is neither here nor there.

10 / 22

“The shot will affect my menstrual cycle.”

“The shot will affect my menstrual cycle.”

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The vaccine has absolutely no effect on menstruation, which is completely controlled by the moon.

11 / 22

“I lose half of my sight when they puncture my eyeball.”

“I lose half of my sight when they puncture my eyeball.”

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Misinformation about mRNA is nothing compared to fear tactics that convince people that the vaccine needle goes through their pupil or alternatively all the way up into the urethra.

12 / 22

“I’m too busy having sex with children to be shot.”

“I’m too busy having sex with children to be shot.”

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Unfortunately, there is no easy way to beat this excuse. If they’re busy, they’re busy.

13 / 22

“It’s against my Sensei code.”

“It’s against my Sensei code.”

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Anti-waxxers love to behave as if their master is the one holding them back from getting stabbed, even though no samurai actually cares if their apprentice has been vaccinated.

14 / 22

“I do not enter heaven.”

“I do not enter heaven.”

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Maybe, but you’ll be locked in to your nearest Six Flags location, and that’s probably just as well.

15 / 22

“I have a roast in the oven”

“I have a roast in the oven”

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Anti-waxers will pretend they have a roast in the oven to avoid getting the shot, a facade that crumbles easily when you press them on how they braise it and what sides they are preparing.

16 / 22

“I’ve already had breakfast.”

“I’ve already had breakfast.”

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A widespread misconception that the Covid-19 vaccine is solid and filling when it would hardly constitute a hors d’oeuvre.

17 / 22

“Covid is not that bad after all.”

“Covid is not that bad after all.”

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Since many people have survived the disease, anti-waxxers claim that Coronavirus is like a bad cold that has killed millions of drama queens.

18 / 22

“I already have a big lollipop, so I do not need one.”

“I already have a big lollipop, so I do not need one.”

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Anti-waxers will often use an excuse like this while licking a huge lollipop they got from the local candy store and do not need a suction from the doctor. This neglects to take into account that they could knock the wrapped lollipop and continue on their merry path with the present.

19 / 22

“Bill Gates put microchips in the vaccines.”

“Bill Gates put microchips in the vaccines.”

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In fact, Bill Gates has no interest whatsoever in tracking your whereabouts unless you were one of the people who saw him on Jeffrey Epstein’s island.

20 / 22

“No one has survived it.”

“No one has survived it.”

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Anti-waxers love to tune out inconvenient information, such as the fact that billions of bodies somehow endured the trauma of having a needle stuck in their arm.

“Which vaccine?”

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Wait. Is there really no vaccine? No, stop it. That’s how they get you.

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